butterpopsicle:

Cheetah balls and Cheeto balls

Wake up America

deceasedestates:

Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary.Tasmania. September, 2013.

deceasedestates:

Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary.

Tasmania. September, 2013.

Just look at him.  He’s not smiling because you’re there and you’re going to give him food and cuddles and back rubs.  He’s snarling because he’s going to rip off your fucking face.

Just look at him.  He’s not smiling because you’re there and you’re going to give him food and cuddles and back rubs.  He’s snarling because he’s going to rip off your fucking face.

Although I love badgers…

…I’ve never understood why the Hufflepuff animal was a badger, while they’re all supposed to be the friendly, faithful, and love type house.  I mean, have you ever actually seen a badger?  That mother will rip your fucking face off.

Telling people that you’ll “Swallow [their] soul” is not an effective pick up line.

Even if you happen to be an Evil Dead or HP Lovecraft devotee.  I mean, I appreciate the effort, but my soul belongs to Cthulhu.  Unless you’ve got something that beats multi-tentacle action and a swanky sunken city crib, you’ve got no game.

If you ever…

…find yourself at a certain type of club and the fire alarm goes off, requiring everyone to gather outside and wait for the fire department and police and stuff.  Get one of your friends to undo the handcuffs you’re wearing so you can take off the zipper mask.  Apparently it’s illegal and stuff to wear be masked in public and very difficult to take it off when your hands are cuffed behind your back.  Resulting in an arrest and awkward conversations and the like with the person coming to bail you out.

…yes, that was strangely specific…

No. No.  It was just a for instance.  In case you’re ever in New York and find yourself in that situation.  It’s not like I’m saying that happened to me or anything.  No, not at all.